Your now free

I suppose to key to a great love story is to start at the begining but this story holds more tragedy than happiness so I will start at the ending, at least the ending for me. I said goodbye to him last night... But its funny that its quite possible he will never know it. I wonder if he can sense it? He must have felt something because,We missed eachother by a mere 15 minutes. How crazy/sad/ perfect that he had just been to the place I was going. It was like a warning.....a giant red sign. When I heard he had just been there , I nearly faltered. I wanted to dismiss my plan....but I went through with it. I jumped into the arms of another love....and not just any lover...I picked someone I knew "he" would never approve of,. The stage was set, I only had to act my part out to the fullest. So there...I have soiled his perfect view of me. If there ever was a chance, there is none now. I will hold no value for him whatsoever..... and right now that is fine with me. Its been over a year....It took me this long to not care anymore. To let go of all the love & also the hurt and just be this void. I look in the mirror at myself and I see how carelessly he tossed me aside and now I see how careless I can also be. I loved him....but things will never be the same. The girl he once loved is gone, any sembelance of her died last night with each kiss & touch.  I drove around after. I wanted to be alone & think of what I had done. Ironically our song came on & I have to admit I felt like some higher being was telling me "you should be ashamed, he is going to find out & hate you".... but I just let the tears fall. The good in me was gone. Killed with each "I love you" that was told to me on that beautiful mouth that told me lies. Like a child I wiped my tears and thought you have hurt me, THERE! now I have hurt you........stupid I know.....but truthful and as they say " the damage is done"